The Oasis Reporters

February 22, 2018



Maitozo: O boy are you sure that the midget is not under a spell and full of mental issues?

Aboi: When will you stop speaking in tongues? Even Jesus disciples don’t frequent tongues like you.

Maitozo: Shut the hell up, my problem with you is too much pretext. You know what and who i’m referring to.

Aboi: If you don’t want to talk, you better mute.

Maitozo: I heard that the giant dwarf living close to 44 Reference Hospital has issued another demolition notice to Senator Fantastic.

Aboi:You are not serious. Why are you people hell bent in blackmailing this Giant Dwarf?

Maitozo: Did I hear you say blackmail?
Okay, I didn’t even hear it I read his demolition notice online and the response of the senator.

Aboi: Hmmmm. What a pity. I was even told that he personally drove a bulldozer and started the process of demolishing the senator’s property two days ago.

Maitozo: I stumbled on a group of young doctors today in one hospital discussing about the Giant Dwarf’s disposition and linking it with mental health.

Aboi: Holy shit. You know I wasn’t in your sociology class in the university. Break this mental health things to pieces for me to understand.

Maitozo: It’s a sickness associated with the brain. If some bolts in your skull loose and your No.6 stops functioning properly, you have mental health issues. In Lagos-Ibadan mental health lexicon of definition of medical terms, the sickness he is suffering from is called KOLOMENTAL

Aboi: Kolo what? Was that not a song I heard some years ago? So that singer was singing about madness and malfunctioning of No.6 ?

Maitozo: O yes, if someone who doesn’t have a license to drive a bulldozer will roll it out at wee hours of the day and destroy a property that person is a KOLOMENTAL.

Aboi: We have a good kolomental facility in Barnawa. Can’t he visit them for a therapy? I was told it’s one of the best in the black world.

Maitozo: May be he wants to also go to the UK and spend 105dys like Baba Cow of Daura.

Written by John Danfulani

Awon Village
Kachia LGA
Kaduna State

Greg Abolo

Blogger at The Oasis Reporters.

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