CRIME OF PASSION AND THE FOOL’S ERRAND IN SPOUSAL MONITORING – Bamidele Olateju

The Oasis Reporters

November 26, 2017

Late Bilyamin, Maryam and baby.
It is said that Maryam may have  killed her husband over a matter of an unproven infidelity.
Photo source : Daily Post

Just as every woman wants her husband to herself alone, men on the other hand can’t even bear the thought of sharing their woman with another man. That is evolutionary biology for you.
That said, all the headache associated with spousal monitoring in marriage remains a fool’s errand.

Cheating or adultery like many sins, are situational and opportunistic. Catching a cheating man or woman in the act is not worth losing sleep over, much less killing for.
Why take a life because of infidelity? It is insane.

In the prime of our lives, most humans yield to influences and opportunities. Most especially, we often yield to the hormones in our system. It is the effect of culture, social norms and religion that help to moderate these influences.

In any relationship, friendship or marriage, it is usually advisable to leave room for a man or woman to be human. It is equally important to leave room for betrayal as well.
A woman’s nesting instincts influences her to want to legislate faithfulness. It is usually impossible to legislate on matters of emotion. Biologically we do this to protect our offspring. We want fathers to cater for their children.

Life’s experiences teach that the maximum number of years, a man can roam and sow is 10 years. After that, his eyes and penis go into disagreement. By age 40, most men begin to prepare for penile retirement.
These days, the unusual combinations of illicit drugs, blood pressure medications, alcohol and low T, speed up the retirement. Therefore seeing a woman lose sleep over a passing phase is a matter that can be found baffling.

While a man is in decline, a woman begins to bloom between age 33 and 50. At this stage, she is no longer ashamed of her body and she is at her sexual prime. She does this with aplomb until the ravages of menopause like vaginal dryness starts stealing her thunder. With hormonal therapy, this phase can be elongated for another 15 years while the man thinks about Viagra, oysters or street corner ‘Burantashi’ (Indigenous hausa aphrodisiac) to wake ‘it’ up.

By middle age, male or female, everybody is gentle. School fees, midlife crisis and other demands of life does not make cheating very attractive as it used to be. So, why the brouhaha?
Therefore why kill a wife, husband or sever a penis, for crying out loud?

Time there was when great grandmothers married younger wives for their husbands as they became too old and tired to wash clothes, cook, clean and have sex.
There was peace.
The younger wife usually became a wife-servant. People can learn a lot of life lessons from how foreparents lived in peace and harmony. With washing machines, cooking stoves, microwave and modern conveniences, we seem to have it all, yet we are less happy.
Why?

We must think and decide what these hypermodern demands are doing to marriages and relationships. It is saddening that some people’s marital requirements look more like qualification for sainthood.

Even when one may not be a man, it’s pretty easy enough to make informed judgment on issues that concern spousal infidelity and urge ladies to rather invest in themselves.
Have a job, invest time in a hobby, take care of yourself, your husband, your children and your home.
If you love a man, let him roam. For the men, dont bother monitoring your wife. It will take the combined effort of Sherlock Holmes and Houdini to catch a cheating woman.
With birth control, mobile phones and social media, don’t even start.

This in no way should be misconstrued as an endorsement of cheating or adultery.

Written by
Bamidele Ademola – Olateju, a social media commentator.

Greg Abolo

Blogger at The Oasis Reporters.

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