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Fear Driven Primitive Nigerian Husbands: Why They Block Their Wives From Exhaling And Excelling

The Oasis Reporters


June 20, 2020


By Capt. Awazie Emmanuel Sab

Dear husband,

Please find a quiet place and think seriously about what you are about to read. Reflect on what’s going on currently in the world. Just find a quiet place please, relax your mind and think.

Does your wife have what it takes to sustain your family if you lose your job today? Can your wife cover you up if your business is struggling? Can your wife keep the family afloat if you fall sick and can’t go out? Can your wife manage your family in your absence? If you die today, can your wife survive with your kids?
Think about it.

Does it make sense to you that your wife depends on you for everything? If her parents or relatives need any financial assistance, the money must come from you. If she sees anything she loves to buy for herself, she must wait for your approval. Even if she wants to buy snacks or ice cream for the kids, she will obtain the money from you. She will even wait for you to give her money to buy her toiletries. You have turned your wife to a beggar.

Then if your wife is not a beggar, why is it that you don’t want her to work? What’s stopping your wife from doing business? What’s stopping your wife from attaining more educational heights? Why is it that your wife hasn’t learned any trade? Why did you stop her from selling small stuff at the corner of your house? What about her doing online business? Why do you think that since you are providing everything in the house, she doesn’t need to earn money on her own ? Mister, there could be unexpected hard times too in life, you know. And a time may come when you will need your wife’s help and support.

There are people today that due to this Covid-19 pandemic and lockdown, who could not resume work and their wages were cut off. There are some others that lost their jobs this period. There are also others whose contracts got cancelled. Some couldn’t open their shops for business. Many were tied down at home, with no business and no work. If you weren’t affected by all these unforeseen circumstances, please learn from the experience of others.

The truth is, for your family to be great and stable; your wife needs to be financially independent too. Your wife should earn money. Your wife needs to have her own money. Your wife needs to have your back. Husband, you truly need to empower your wife financially. You need to support your wife’s business and make it independent from the family expenses. So that if any obstacle or challenge comes, you and your wife can overcome and navigate your family safely.

Your family will be more stable, more powerful, more peaceful and stronger, when your wife is financially independent. You may not need to disturb any friend or relative, or lending institution for small financial help. Your wife will just cover you up. And your family will prosper.

I understand there are some men who still believe that if they allow their wives to work, she will have the opportunity to cheat on them.
Hahahahaha. This is laughable, mister. The truth is, even inside your house, if your wife wants to cheat on you, she will still cheat. So that your reason is anachronistic and it doesn’t hold water.

Please drop that primitive mentality and start supporting your wife. Always encourage her. Build her confidence. Stop limiting her potentials or killing her dreams. Stop pressing her neck down on a hard surface with your discouraging attitudes. Allow her to have a breath of fresh air. Let her exhale !

Please, support your wife to work, run a business, learn a trade or get more education and be independent. It’s for your own good. Your wife will have a life beyond motherhood and be a good wife. It will equip her with vast knowledge and it will always empower her to take the right decisions. Not the “when my husband comes back ..” type of wife. She will be respected. She will have a voice. And there will be happiness and satisfaction in the family.

Husbands and wives should complement each other, so that when the two of them work together, a better result will be produced for the “upliftment” of the family. Your wife should be your confidante, your second in command and your helper.

“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” . Genesis 2:18

Greg Abolo

Blogger at The Oasis Reporters.

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